Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Gift of Time:
Now that the holidays have passed, (like a bad case of gastritis,) I'd like to talk about gift-giving. I know some people work for months knitting wonderful things for their friends, (and we've been the recipients of some of these beautiful pieces.) Others go out and torture their credit cards to find "the perfect thing for him/her."
As a Taoist I both love and fear the Christmas holidays. I love the opportunity to spend time with people I love, eat rich food and drink good wine and champagne. (I'm fond of champagne.) It's a wonderful excuse to get together.
What I fear is all the "Christian God talk," and the inevitable gift-exchange. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but as a Taoist, and as a anti-commercialism guy, I do my best to avoid gift-giving. My partner usually gets gifts for all our friends, which helps me save face, but I still feel the twinge of guilt for not going out there and getting something on my own.
To me, the greatest gift we can give each other is the gift of time. Living here in Silicon Valley my friends are often busy with work and other projects, and that's cool. But I often feel we don't spend as much time with each other as we could.
My partner, Erik, has a very high-powered and time-consuming job. For anyone other than I to get free time with Erik is difficult. Even when he has a block of time open up, many of our friends have something else that prevents them taking advantage the opportunity.
But what would happen if we thought of our free time as a gift? What if we viewed that time as an opportunity to spend time with friends and family? We turn our time into a gift.
Maybe we help a friend get their car to the shop. Or we meet for a walk through a local park. We could also share a meal, (one of my favorite ways,) or just hang out watching a DVD. There are hundreds of ways to spend our free time with those we love.
So, based upon the society I live in, I think of time as one of the greatest gifts we can give. Instead of spending money on some commercial product we spend some time listening to our friends, hearing their fears, desires, dreams, frustrations and joys.
I would much rather have some of your time than have you spend money for some gift you think I may like.
I know there are people who really love buying gifts for others, and they would be hurt if you minimized their contribution. I do not mean to cut those people down in any way. Others make very lovely gifts, sometimes spending weeks or even months knitting or painting or sculpting something they hope we'll love. These are wonderful gifts because they come from the hand and from the heart.
But for me, the gift of your time is the best gift I could receive. I would hope that my gift of time would be appreciated in return, but the nature of humans is to please. I hope this idea pleases some of you, or at least gives you food for thought.
Now that the holidays have passed, (like a bad case of gastritis,) I'd like to talk about gift-giving. I know some people work for months knitting wonderful things for their friends, (and we've been the recipients of some of these beautiful pieces.) Others go out and torture their credit cards to find "the perfect thing for him/her."
As a Taoist I both love and fear the Christmas holidays. I love the opportunity to spend time with people I love, eat rich food and drink good wine and champagne. (I'm fond of champagne.) It's a wonderful excuse to get together.
What I fear is all the "Christian God talk," and the inevitable gift-exchange. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but as a Taoist, and as a anti-commercialism guy, I do my best to avoid gift-giving. My partner usually gets gifts for all our friends, which helps me save face, but I still feel the twinge of guilt for not going out there and getting something on my own.
To me, the greatest gift we can give each other is the gift of time. Living here in Silicon Valley my friends are often busy with work and other projects, and that's cool. But I often feel we don't spend as much time with each other as we could.
My partner, Erik, has a very high-powered and time-consuming job. For anyone other than I to get free time with Erik is difficult. Even when he has a block of time open up, many of our friends have something else that prevents them taking advantage the opportunity.
But what would happen if we thought of our free time as a gift? What if we viewed that time as an opportunity to spend time with friends and family? We turn our time into a gift.
Maybe we help a friend get their car to the shop. Or we meet for a walk through a local park. We could also share a meal, (one of my favorite ways,) or just hang out watching a DVD. There are hundreds of ways to spend our free time with those we love.
So, based upon the society I live in, I think of time as one of the greatest gifts we can give. Instead of spending money on some commercial product we spend some time listening to our friends, hearing their fears, desires, dreams, frustrations and joys.
I would much rather have some of your time than have you spend money for some gift you think I may like.
I know there are people who really love buying gifts for others, and they would be hurt if you minimized their contribution. I do not mean to cut those people down in any way. Others make very lovely gifts, sometimes spending weeks or even months knitting or painting or sculpting something they hope we'll love. These are wonderful gifts because they come from the hand and from the heart.
But for me, the gift of your time is the best gift I could receive. I would hope that my gift of time would be appreciated in return, but the nature of humans is to please. I hope this idea pleases some of you, or at least gives you food for thought.
# posted by Phillip T. Alden @ 7:28 PM 
